Have you ever felt “stuck” in your life, or felt like you were in a “rut’? Maybe you feel this way right now. It’s almost like everything in your life feels like molasses….very slow moving and no matter what you do to get un-stuck, you still can’t get ahead, or move forward. Or worse, you finally accomplished something big, and took one step forward only to get thrown ten steps backward by something else. You may feel stuck in not being happy in your relationship, stuck in a creative project, stuck in manifesting your dreams into reality, stuck in a job you absolutely hate, feeling trapped living in the small town or big city you’re in, anything that makes you feel like you’re in quicksand and sinking slowly. What if being stuck is not really the issue, but instead it's how we observe it?
I can say that at least once a year I go through a period of feeling stuck or as I like to call it, a period of time when the Universe puts me into a time-out corner. I used to get incredibly frustrated, and would be so hard on myself. I found myself falling into the trap of “I should be here in my life” or “I have to do this so I can keep going forward.” I just figured that this period of being stuck meant that I was getting lazy, that I needed to work harder, that it was my fault that I'm in this current stage, and that I needed to figure out all the answers to everything in order to move forward. I would then overcompensate my feelings of being in a rut by forecasting my future methodically in planning when it would happen, and how it would happen, so I wouldn’t get “stuck” again. Can you relate?
That was a few years ago. Now, whenever I go through this period of being put into the time-out corner by the Universe, I embrace it with open arms. I am grateful for these moments because I know that there is something I need to reflect on internally in order to move forward. Think of this moment as the Universe putting up a nice Yield sign in your path telling you to slow down, re-evaluate, and try something different. The more that we manifest our goals and attract positive people and situations into our lives, the more that the Universe will keep showing signs in order to guide us in achieving these goals, and when we ignore those signs, we get re-directed, by facing what we feel to be a state of being “stuck” or in a “rut”.
Getting stuck is inevitable, it's a natural part of life. Instead of looking at this point in your life as a struggle, or a block, look at this moment as a gift, and a slight nudge to re-direct you back onto the right path. The more open-minded you are, the more you will embrace, surrender, go with the flow, listen to your intuition, and enjoy yourself during this time. Oh ya...and the quicker the feeling of being stuck melts away. You will find yourself moving forward with ease, manifesting dreams faster, and taking the right steps in getting exactly what you desire because it will come naturally when we stop resisting and go with the flow.
So why do we believe that feeling stuck is Negative?
We perceive the feelings of being stuck as a personal action of failure, a negative reflection of ourselves as a person. Our entire lives we have thought about what we “should be”, what we “must do” or “have to do” in order to be successful.
When we “can’t” move forward, the feeling of being stuck can create panic within ourselves, making us feel confused, anxious, worthless, depressed, overwhelmed, shameful and frustrated. We start to overcompensate by working harder, coming up with new ideas, and trying to make something…ANYTHING happen that will permanently un-stick us from our current situation.
We are like the energizer bunny, we keep going and going and going without stopping to really think if the choices we are making in those moments, or overall, are really the best choices for the growth and accomplishment of ourselves and our life.
So what can you do?
1. Something has to change.
When the Universe pumps the breaks on us, it is not to be mean, instead, it forces us to slow down, to be still, be present and in the moment. When we become stuck, it is because something has to change. Something in our life is not working for us anymore and needs to be re-evaluated. It could be a job, a relationship, hobbies, or certain people we associate with. The hardest one is maybe seeing that something we are doing has to change. After all we control our emotions and reactions, we have the choice to embrace change.
2. Figure out what’s blocking you.
Being stuck is only a symptom of why we feel like we can't move on. I can tell you that at least 95% of what is blocking you from being able to move forward stems from FEAR. We say that we don’t know what’s stopping us, but realistically we are just afraid to admit what is stopping us. There is a great book I read, called The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. In her book she explains that it takes us only five seconds to talk ourselves out of doing something. We could go on all day contemplating an idea or thought, but it takes us only five seconds to talk ourselves out of acting on those ideas. And more times than not, we are afraid of change. We know the steps we need to take next, but we are scared to do them. Because in order for us to become unstuck, we have to try something different, something completely opposite of what we have been doing before.
3. Out with the old, in with the new.
A part of realizing and acknowledging that changes need to be made, is also acknowledging that you may have to face some hard endings in order to welcome new beginnings. I call this the toxic closet syndrome. Have you ever gone into someone’s closet, maybe even your own and seen that some clothes are outdated, some don’t fit, some haven’t even been worn but are still hung up and being saved for that “special occasion” that hasn’t happened in the last five years since that shirt or dress was bought? But yet we keep these clothes because we keep making the “what if” excuse. “What if the style comes back”, “what if in another five years I will get to wear my shirt to that special occasion” or “what if I get rid of this piece of clothing, and then miss it”.
We do the same exact thing with people and situations that are toxic or negative to us and this is a big reason to why we feel stuck. Once you figure out what is toxic to you, it’s time to face reality of shifting those things or people out of our lives. You don’t have to clean out everything that is toxic to you at all at once, but you do have to start somewhere.
4. Be Patient and embrace the silence.
What happens more often than not, is that once we finally “clean out the closet”, we feel like we have to, (those magical words) fill up that empty space with something new immediately. Or someone or something will strike up a new idea in us, and we get this panic, or belief, that if we don’t go for this goal, or date this person, or take this job, right this very moment, then it is lost forever. Not true at all!!! Take your time in making your decisions, because if you act before you’re ready, or anyone forces you to take a certain job or idea before you’re ready, you will hit that wall again, and then get stuck again. If it is meant for you, it will be there when you do make your decision.
During this period following the cleaning out of toxic beliefs, people, situations, etc. you will go through solitude. This is a time of silence, spending time alone. This is a great time to reflect upon the successes of your past, both recently and from awhile ago. There is a study that people who take two hours of complete silence a day are the most happiest, they are more successful, calm, clear minded, and intelligent individuals. Because the key is to stay present, and grounded.
Be patient, and listen to your intuition.·
Take the time to confine in your friends, family, loved ones, and mentors.
Make a pros and cons list.
5. Timing is everything.
~Timing is everything. If it’s meant to happen it will, at the right time for the right reasons. ~
Everything happens at the right time for the right reasons. I can’t count how many times in my life I thought I needed to have at an exact moment, with the exact person, at an exact place and how incredibly grateful I am now that they didn’t happen, or at least at that exact time, or the way I planned it out to be. What a disaster it would have been, and how unprepared I would have been because I wouldn’t have the amazing things I do now….and they’re better than what I imagined them to be. I started trusting that timing was everything and that everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes what we think is the best way, is not always the right way. Be humble. There are multiple paths in life that can get you to where you are meant to be, it just may not be the way you wanted to get there, or as quickly as you wanted to get there, but it will be the best and most effective way. You can go kicking and screaming, hitting the brick wall over and over again, or…you can let-go, be open-minded and accept the temporary road blocks as a sign to shift and change into a better direction.
6.Stop Overthinking, let go, and start enjoying the moment.
Easier said than done, I know! But try to not overthink every little detail of "how" everything will fall into place. Ever hear that depression is a state of mind that gets triggered from thinking about and replaying past events, and situations, while anxiety is derived from overthinking the future, and situations that haven't even occurred yet? Neither one is possible to control; because one already happened, the other one has yet to happen.
Stay present. Enjoy being in the moment. Practice being grateful for what you already have. Take up meditating or yoga, go for a nice long walk, journal, listen to music....anything that quiets your mind. When your mind is still, this is when new ideas arise, when answers flow in easier, and when you're able to make the right decisions logically and not just from emotions.
7. Follow Your Intuition!
Last, but not least, and the most important, follow your intuition...that "gut feeling" you get. Whether something does or does not feel right, listen to your body, do not second guess it. Do not make excuses! YOU KNOW that this period of being "stuck" is only temporary, so do not question that. YOU KNOW it has no reflection of who you truly are, and your amazing potential! YOU KNOW you will thrive, and the best is yet to come, do not question that either. Trust!